Spurious Stories
by Jisushika
Summary: Kurama tells a few stories to Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Yukina, Keiko, and Hiei. This is mainly just a collection of mini stories. Some shonen-ai, KxH. No Yaoi. incomplete
1. Tadaima! I'm Home!

A/N: ... *schnooooorrrrre* Me tired. Hey, is it possible to snore and talk at the same time? Never really thought of something like that before... *shrugs*  
  
Disclaimer: I do not, i repeat, i do NOT own Yu Yu Hakusho. We all know that i don't. That's why you would give a strange reaction if i claimed that i owned it, and meant it. But i don't, so... *tragic sigh*  
  
Kurama came home after a trip from the library, exhausted. He fiddled through his keys, until he found the right one. Kurama inserted the key into the keyhole, and with a simple filck of his wrist, the door slowly opened as he pushed it lightly. Inside his very home, was Yuusuke, Yukina, Hiei, Kuwabara, and Keiko. Kurama dropped his bag next to him, and everyone turned to face him. He was really wondering why everyone was here. At that moment, Shiori opened the door from the kitchen and walked over to the living room, finding everyone staring at Kurama, and Kurama staring back. Shiori giggled.  
  
  
  
" Shuiichi! Okaeri nasai, dear. Your friends came over looking for you, but you weren't home. I invited them in."  
  
" Arigatou gozaimashita for letting them in to wait for me, 'kassan." Kurama answered, still staring at the gang.  
  
" Oh, Dou itashimashite. It was nice having them as company. And, im cooking desert too, but i don't want it to be burned. Could you look after it, Shuuichi? I have to run to the market for a while."  
  
" Hai, 'kassan."  
  
" Itte kimasu. Bye shuuichi."  
  
" Itte irasshai, 'kassan."  
  
  
  
Shiori kissed Kurama on the cheek before she left the house. Kurama turned to the group again. He seemed confused.  
  
"Hi guys...was there another assignment to do from Ko-Enma again?"  
  
Yuusuke shook his head.  
  
  
  
" Nah. We wanted to visit you, just like your mother said. By the way, your mother must love you very much."  
  
Kurama seemed to be relieved. But he answered back after that in annoyance,  
  
" Is it like that way with you and your mother?"  
  
" Rrr," Yuusuke snapped. He turned his head away then asked, " Where were you when you weren't here anyway?"   
  
Kurama sighed in annoyance.  
  
" Nothing special, Yuusuke. Just the library."  
  
Keiko seemed to be concerned.  
  
" Yes, but why are you so tired? You look exhausted."  
  
Kurama squinted his eyes, remembering the infernal moment.  
  
" Ah, yes. The librarian's assistant wasn't there at the moment, and those crazy kids demanded a story telling time. The man next to the children was literally begging to me to read for them."  
  
Hiei snorted and raised an eyebrow.  
  
" Then why didn't the damn ningen just read to the little brats?"  
  
" The man does not know how to read..."   
  
When Kurama finished that sentence, there had been an uncomfortable silence. The only thing everyone heard was the rustling when Kurama hung his coat and the sound of Kurama's shoes as they dropped on the mat with a soft thump. He picked up his bag and started walking towards one of the couches for a seat. Yuusuke scooted over and provided room. A question type of thought approached Kuwabara.  
  
" What stories did you tell to them?"  
  
Kurama sat down. He replied casually,  
  
" None of any particular. I've created them myself."  
  
Hiei jumped from his seat, perverted thoughts filling his mind. Yukina tried calming him down, hushing him. But no prevail. What if they were stories about Kurama and Himself?? Kurama loves that kind of stuff. Hn. Over imaginative fox. He hollered,  
  
" What kind of stories did you exactly tell???!!"  
  
Kurama, who was surprised at Hiei's sudden outburst, realized he should not have said that he created them himself. Uh-oh.  
  
" Aaah.....heh.....actually, they were all about you guys...."  
  
Kurama was given back a whole lot of glares, a big scary one from Hiei. Kurama shrunk.  
  
" You better tell us those stories of yours, Kurama."  
  
Kurama let his head drop, knowing that this was the end.  
  
" ....Oh, alright."  
  
Everyone gathered around him, in a circle.   
  
" Okay, this one is about when Yuusuke went to school...."  
  
Everyone rolled their eyes towards Yuusuke as Kurama began the story.......  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: By the way, there's a translation list if you dont get some of the words. It's on the last chapter. And i'm sorry if this was annoyingly short ^_^ 


	2. School Assignment

A/N: I know these are short...but...yeah. That's why i put them all together, each mini story as a chapter. Hope you like them ^_^ By the way, i suck at creating titles, so just ignore them.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. *sob* but...i would very much like to....  
  
Kurama: How nice *smiles*  
  
Hiei: *snorts*  
  
Yuusuke sighed as he mindlessly scribbled something down onto his paper. He shoved it onto Keiko's desk, which were  
  
occupied with pencils, paper, and erasers. Keiko scowled.  
  
"What the heck is this?!"  
  
"It's the stupid assignment the teacher just gave us!" Yuusuke answered insolently.   
  
Keiko rolled her eyes in disbelief. She had miracously convinced Yuusuke to go to highschool for at least one day, earlier   
  
this morning. Yuusuke growled.  
  
"Ok, fine. It's that dumb mouse from the book we're reading."  
  
Keiko sighed.   
  
"She told us to sketch a sensible illustration, using your imagination from the book. Not some screwed up female mouse in a teeny bikini!!"  
  
" 'Imagination' is for fags."  
  
Yuusuke snatched the picture away from Keiko. He started mumbling which was worse: Life....or Keiko.   
  
"Is something the matter, Yuusuke Urameshi?," the teacher asked, raising her head up from today's lesson plans.  
  
"Nothing thats any of your business, lady!" Yuusuke hissed to himself. Yuusuke had been cranky lately. Kuwabara Kuzama   
  
had just successfully ditched school without being caught......yet. He laughed to himself, thinking of the consequences   
  
impossible for Kuwa in real life. Keiko turned around and scrunched up her face.  
  
"What are you so happy about?? You got health class next."  
  
Yuusuke groaned in disgust and dropped his head face down onto his desk with a thud.  
  
A/N: Hehe...only ideas pop up in the middle of the night when i can't sleep. This just so happens to be one of them.  
  
~Jisushika 


	3. Bummy Yums

A/N: ANd another one i came up with in the middle of the night! Seriously, people, thats the only time when i can come up with a couple of decent ideas.  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN YU YU HAKUSHO! *laughs maniacally then slumps down with a sad face*  
  
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Hiei watched with intrest as he walked pass the candy shop. Kurama had left home and went to school. He had handed Hiei some japanese yen coins to spend for lunch or whatever he had wanted. He glared at the ningenkai money on the palm of his hands. With nothing better to do, he murmured,  
  
"I suppose i could buy some of those bummy yums Kurama and his friends like to eat all the time."  
  
Hiei admitted it to only himself that he wanted some too. He walked into the bright, sweet smelling store.  
  
"Welcome! Can i help you, kid?", asked a rather large man behind the counter. He offered a creepy smile. Hiei snarled dangerously in a low voice.  
  
"Baka, i am not a child."  
  
Hiei turned to his left and started walking, looking at the various kinds of candies with the money gripped in his fist. He found an interesting piece. Hiei popped the little sugar thing into his mouth and swallowed it immediately. His eyes began to well up with tears. He bent over and gagged from the ultra sweet taste. The man came rushing over.  
  
"Kid! Are you alright?!"  
  
Hiei's face seemed like it was scrunched up from extraordinary pain. He unsheathed his hidden katana. Hiei pointed it at the man's face threateningly, still choking.  
  
"BAKA! I told you i am not a child! CAN'T YOU LISTEN?!", he screamed.  
  
Hiei lowered his sword and coughed more. The man started to apply pressure onto Hiei's abdomen, an attempt to try to shoot the candy out of the throat. But...this only made it worse.  
  
"IDIOT! What are you trying to do? Grope me at a time like this? Why don't you go away, i can handle this myself!!", screamed Hiei again. The man looked startled and backed away. He ran to the counter top and dialed the emergency number. Hiei passed out. The loud Ambulance sirens rang.  
  
***  
  
"Hiei, HIEI!! Are you ok?", asked Kurama.  
  
"Ugh...N--Nani?"  
  
They were back at Kurama's apartment. Hiei was layed down on a bed. He woke up from his faint. Kurama began to explain what had happened.  
  
"I was walking home from college when i saw a crowd gathered around the candy shop. I ran to see what had happened, and there you were, sprawled on the floor unconscious with saliva leaking out of your mouth! I had to bring you home to safety, despite the problem that it was very difficult to convince the people that came out of the ambulance. The police, meanwhile, were trying to arrest the Candy Man. They thought he was trying to beat you up. Oh, and by the way, bubble gums are meant to be chewed, and chewed ONLY. There weren't meant to be swallowed."  
  
Hiei swallowed the remaining flavor of the candy he had previously had, then sighed in annoyance. He muttered,  
  
"Stupid bummy yums."  
  
  
  
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A/N: So how did you like it? Excellent, good, fair, sorta bad, horribly horrible? Review! 


	4. Kuwa, the SDUMHB Man!

A/N: Another idea from the middle of the night. Again they all are OOC...except for maybe Hiei? Kuwabara is just acting a little stupider than usual.  
  
Disclaimer:   
  
Jisushika: I don't own it. Must i repeat this over and over again?!?! *raises and shakes clenched fists in the sky*   
  
Hiei: Yes, it proves that you are--  
  
Kurama: HUSH, Hiei....! Um, hehe.  
  
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"Great news, everybody! I have a halloween party on...well...HALLOWEEN!", announced Jisushika. Yuusuke grinned.  
  
"Which victim shall i scare next? BWAHAHAHAHA!!", he laughed insanely. Botan and Yukina backed away laughing too, but nevously. Keiko lost impatience with Yuusuke's insolent remarks.  
  
"Just shut up", she said bitterly. Keiko shook her head in disbelief and walked away. Kuwabara suddenly jumped next to Yukina out of nowhere. He was obviously proud about something.  
  
"I, the great Kuwabara Kuzama, shall be SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man for Jisushika's halloween party on, well, halloween!"  
  
Jisushika sweatdropped.   
  
"Yes, Kuwa, you go and try that."  
  
Instead of sweatdropping, Kurama smirked.  
  
"But Kuwabara, i AM SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man!"  
  
Hiei gave a 'Hn'.   
  
"Damn right", the fanfic writer added.  
  
Kuwabara continued on with his rants.   
  
"I, the great Kuwabara Kuzama, shall go get my SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man costume ready!"  
  
He panted after finishing his annoying sentence.  
  
"Once again, you go and try to do that", replied Jisushika.  
  
***  
  
Kuwa looked around the store until he found one of the employees. He ran to the thin guy and asked quickly, "Excuse me, sir, i am the great Kuwabara Kuzama, and i cannot seem to find the SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man costume."  
  
The halloween guy gave a confused look.   
  
"You mean Kurama?"   
  
"Uhh...no."  
  
The halloween guy shook his head and answered back to Kuwa," Um..uh, no. We have a bison costume though." He gestured his hand to the further sections of the halloween rental shop. Kuwa thought. He finally hollered, "I the great Kuwabara Kuzama, does not know who that is!!"   
  
The halloween guy muttered, "Oh, brother." He then said louder, "I mean, it's an animal."  
  
Kuwa was just about to make another statement.   
  
"I, the great--"  
  
The halloween guy couldn't stand the big oaf already and quickly thought of something to say in order to shoo him out.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, the great Kuwabara Kuzama and stuff. Look, here's the costume, i'm taking the money. Return it by next thursday, 7:00 pm. Now you can LEAVE."  
  
Kuwa nodded and walked towards the exit. But before exiting, he turned around and yelled, "I, the great Kuwabara Kuzama, is now leaving the Costume rental shop!"  
  
The halloween guy shook his head.   
  
"Poor, poor, sad, demented kid."  
  
***  
  
"Oh dear, what kind of holiday IS this?!", said a frightened Yukina. Hiei consoled her.  
  
"Don't worry, i'll protect you."  
  
Yuusuke looked over his shoulder, with a small cup of fruit punch in his hand.   
  
"Hey, look! There's Jisushika there talking to Kuwabara. Let's go over."  
  
Yukina, Hiei, Kurama, and Yuusuke went over to the two. Once next to them, Kurama performed a dance.  
  
"Jisushika, look! I decided that me and Hiei should do a duo costume act. However...i had trouble deciding whether i shall be Jessie or James."  
  
Jisushika immediately answered 'Jessie'. Kuwabara shoke his head.  
  
"I, the great SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man, thinks that Kurama should be James because the rose is their trademark!"  
  
Jisushika sighed.   
  
"Why are we talking about Pokemon?"  
  
Kuwabara grinned.  
  
"I, the great SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man, was a Pokemon fan for seven years!" Kuwabara sighed joyfully and murmured, "Ahh...pikachu..."  
  
Kurama found this topic disturbing and decided to change the subject.  
  
"So, technically, i am the hottest."  
  
"Hn."  
  
Kurama jabbed his elbow slightly into Hiei's stomach.  
  
"Oof! Grrr....I mean....i am the most kawaii!"  
  
Hiei blushed in annoyance. Kuwabara blurted, "I am both."  
  
There had been silence.  
  
"Um...."  
  
"Well...ah...."  
  
"I would consider and definitley assume that that statement is false", said Kurama.  
  
"I most certainly agree", grinned Jisushika.  
  
"Besides, how can you be SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man when you're a MAMMOTH instead?"  
  
"Bison", corrected Keiko, who appeared out of nowhere.   
  
"Yikes!", jumped Yuusuke. Jisushika shrugged at the question.  
  
"I don't know. Why don't you ask the great Kuwabara Kuzama?"  
  
"Riiiiiight", said Yuusuke.  
  
"Jisushika, i think it's time for the costume contest." At that sentence, everyone looked around the room.  
  
"Heheh! I only invited you guys for a special reason."   
  
"So the ningen girls will not chase me and Hiei?", asked Kurama. Jisushika nodded.  
  
"That's part of it."  
  
Another silence.  
  
"Right! The costume contest! OK, line up people. And SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man, you go stand in the corner. I'll deal with you later."  
  
"I, the great SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man, feels special!"  
  
Jisushika muttered to herself, "Because you are mentally challenged."  
  
Kurama cleared his throat.   
  
"Ahem? Carry on."  
  
"Gomen nasai, Kurama-Kun. But at the same time, arigatou gozai masu! I appreciate your coming."  
  
Yuusuke whispered something in Kurama's ear.  
  
"Or else she'll whip us all with a giant mallet."  
  
Jisushika continued on with her speech.  
  
"Since Keiko, Yukina, and Botan has thankfully helped with the halloween decorations and party setup, we now have FOUR contestants!"  
  
PANG! [1]  
  
"Oh, Inari." [2]  
  
"We have Yuusuke, as Yoshihiro Togashi; Kurama and Hiei, as a duo costume, Team Rocket; and Kuwabara, as SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man. And the winner is........ drumroll, please."  
  
Botan drums the drum.  
  
"Please let it be me, uh, i mean, us!", pleaded Kurama, quietly.  
  
"IIIIIIII'M GONNA WIN! IIIIIIIIIII'M GONNA WIN! MY COSTUME'S WAY BETTER THAN YOURS, KURAMAAAA!!", yelled Kuwabara obnoxiously.  
  
Yuusuke simply grinned uncontrollably.  
  
"YUUSUKE!!!!"  
  
"YEEEEEEEEEAAHHHH!!!"  
  
"Happy, aren't we?", grinned Botan.  
  
"Good for you, Yuusuke.", said Keiko.  
  
  
  
~Owari  
  
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A/N: I noted Kuwabara as very creative from the episodes where the YYH gang took place in Maze Castle. So, i decided to do a mini fic about that on halloween. ^_^  
  
And another thing. It was a PAIN to keep typing 'I, the great Kuwabara Kuzama', and 'SuperDuperUltraMegaHandsomeBishonen Man'. And the Halloween Guy was mean!  
  
[1] A sound effect when something shocking happens in manga or anime. Of course, that part in this fic isn't TOO shocking at all.]  
  
[2] The god of the rice harvest. Foxes are the messengers of Inari, and since Kurama is part fox, he refers to the rice god as the one almighty god. Hehe, monotheism is just GREAT. 


End file.
